APS Chapter 1373
We'd like to share with the public stamps jokes and humor. Our goal... to have this page become the largest collection on the internet of anything related to stamps, the post office or collecting that might tickle your funny bone. Please help us by submitting your material and recommendations. Try to keep it suited to all audiences.
Videos
Commercial produced by Royal Stamps (Great Britain) feature a very talented cat. click here
Stamps.com has produced some very funny ads. Click here to view a Bob Newhart video that is posted on youtube.com and for another Bob Newhart video click here and for another click here and for one more click here.
Stamp Collection Rap from U.K. television show ... Click here!
2 Hands discuss forever stamps... Click here!
Forever stamps... Starbucks is next... Click on this link.
Stamp Licker Commercial. Click here.
Jokes
| Q: How can you tell if a fax came from a blonde? A: It has a stamp on it. |
| Fresh out of business school, a young man answered a want
ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small stamp dealership that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said. "I worry about a lot of things like mailing packets, putting up items for auction, replying to customers" the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can a stamp business afford a sum like that?" "That," the stamp dealer said, "is your first worry." |
| One day a man decided to go sit on his porch and watch the
sun rise and set. The next thing you know there is a blonde running to her
mailbox. She kept running back and forth from her house to the mailbox for a
good ten minutes. Finally the man got tired of wondering, and asked, "Why do you keep running back and forth to the mailbox?" The blonde replied, "My computer keeps saying I've got mail."
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| Hillary Clinton Commemorative Stamp The US Postal Service has issued a recall of a stamp they created with a picture of Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements while serving as the First Lady of our nation. The problem was discovered when claims had been made that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes, and that mail which had been sent using the "Hillary" postage was not being delivered. Senator Clinton demanded a full investigation into the allegations. A special Postal Service Investigation team was formed and after several months and many dollars spent, made the following findings: The stamp was manufactured properly. There was nothing wrong with the adhesive. People were just spitting on the wrong side |
| A young collector asked an old advanced philatelist how he
made his collection so advanced and valuable. The old guy had a look at the
young nuisance and said, "Well, young man, it was in 1940 when I got a bunch
of old letters from an uncle, I soaked off the stamps, dried them and put
them in a presentation folder. I spent four days on this, after which I sold
the stamps at my school for a cool 4 dollars. "The next morning, I invested
those four dollars in some more stamps on paper. I spent the next four days
on them and sold them afterwards for 6 dollars. I continued this system for
a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of 200 dollars. "Then
my uncle died and left me his collection worth two million dollars..." |
| Q. Why did the blonde call the welfare office. A. She wanted to know how to cook food stamps. |
| Q. What did the envelope say to the stamp? A. Stick with me and we'll go places |
| They've come out with a stamp of the Old Elvis. He's sniffing the glue on the back of the stamp. |
| A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her
Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The blonde says, "God help us, Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists." |
| A guy walks into a post office one day to see a
middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love"
stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out
a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. |
| A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an
unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and
discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed
her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if
she doesn't receive some divine intervention.
The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with 96 dollars. They get it to her by special courier the same morning. A week later, the same postal worker recognizes the same hand on another envelope. He opens it and reads: "Dear God, Thank you for the 100 dollars. This month would have been so bleak otherwise. P.S. It was four dollars short but that was probably those thieves at the Post Office." |
| Larry's stamp collection was stolen, and Susan, his wife,
called the insurance company: "We had that collection insured for fifty thousand and I want my money". Agent: "Whoa there just a minute, Susan. It doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the collection and provide you with a similar one of comparable worth". Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband..." |
